East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize