yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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