Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
