Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I need moral support for this bender
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
