It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
