Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
