youre lurking in front of me
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
