her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
