You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
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I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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