I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
