I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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