your thong is hanging out like whoa
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize