You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My pussy is not your playground.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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