i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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