And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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