I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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