I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
