do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
