Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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