Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
This house was built for laser tag.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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