but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
