UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
