Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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