one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You can't just leave with hair like that
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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