why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
