Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
