Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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