This girl is more easily done than said...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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