yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
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At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
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Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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