New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
