Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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