have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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