I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
