remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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