3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
a search helicopter?!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
