Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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