do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
