Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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