True but thats because hes a fetus.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
