I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
either way he was missing a nipple.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
