last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
