My sheets look like a crime scene.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
