I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Alive.
So much puke
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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