Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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