Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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