weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
