I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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