If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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