Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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