Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
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I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
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I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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