Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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