Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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