? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
