Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just gift wrapped bread.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I forgot wine drunk hurts
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize