My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
