Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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