i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
