Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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