Ambien. No doubt about it.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize