My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
