Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
