i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
